TRUE STORIES

REAL STORY OF Neatoboy

I'm in a deep depressive state at the moment. I've been having a lot of trouble weening myself off the antidepressents (Lexapro) because of the side effects. On Wednesday last week, after about 2 months of gradually reducing my dosage, I decided to go "cold turkey" and haven't taken another one since. Before anyone tells me that I shouldn't have gone "cold turkey" I was at the point where I was only taking a very low dosage (5mg every 4 or 5 days).

Even though I've been completely off Lex for almost a week and a half I am still experiencing side effects... but then part of me thinks that perhaps the "side effects" I am experiencing now is from depression/anxiety. I guess it really doesn't matter... I feel like crap anyhow. My memory is shot, I can't think clearly, I'm struggling to sleep and I have this wierd thing going on in my head (which I can't really explain) but it only started when I began weening myself off Lex. How do I try and explain a symptom to my Dr when I can't put it into words? I don't think there can be anything done about this mysterious symptom anyhow I just hope it eventually goes away.

I don't have many people at work who I relate to but one of the three people I relate well with left last week. I didn't even get a proper chance to say goodbye (I only found out last minute... long story) and now she's gone to live overseas. One of the other people I get on with is leaving soon as he has lost his job due to restructuring.

As some of you may be aware from my other posts, I have injured my back and have had to give up martial arts which I had just started and loved. My Physio wants me to do this particular exercise which takes a lot of concentration which I find almost impossible because my mind is such a mess at the moment. I work at a University and am being treated by student Physio's because it is much cheaper. I don't know how to discuss the reasons why I'm having trouble with the Physios as I work with the staff who oversee the Physio students and I don't want them to know about my mental issues. During the Physio sessions the students discuss what I say with the overseeing staff.

There is so much crap going on at the moment. I feel like such a mess. I don't know what to do. I feel so hopeless and can't see things changing.

I'm waiting on new meds to arrive from overseas but I don't think they'll arrive until next week. They are a natural alternative which I can't find in Australia.